Ms. Aria

Adult Disciplinarian

 

 

 

FAQ's
 

I've put a lot of information on this site for people who may be new to all this & have a lot of detailed questions. For those of you who are "veterans" & don't need all the fine print, this page should be sufficient to answer the most commonly asked questions, & you can skip the rest...

 

Not a question but I can't stress this enough:

Be advised that no matter what the type of session, there is NO sexual activity involved. What you feel like doing once you get home is your own business, but I repeat: there is NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY OF ANY KIND during sessions or after a session while you're here. "Stress relief" spankings are not a euphemism for "happy endings" -- When I say stress relief I'm referring solely to the endorphine rush & emotional release many people get from a spanking, not to any other type of release.

Also not a question, but an issue that really needs to be addressed:

"We Reserve the Right..."

Maybe it's a dying art, but I still consider courtesy to be a nice touch. Not talking about grovelling, & please don't call me "Mistress"-- I'm not one; that's a BDSM term. 

Emails without basic courtesy will most likely be ignored. An example of lack of courtesy would be an email with no introduction, & consisting entirely of: "need a good spanking what do you charge?" (with half the words misspelled or in text-speak...)

Another example would be a cascade of emails -- like half a dozen per day -- asking questions (such as describing a discipline session then asking, "...can you do that, what would you use, can you go really hard, what should I wear, where are you...") that are either self-explanatory or show that you haven't bothered to so much as glance at my website, since every question is answered here.

Or, as a variation, sending me an email every half hour all day long -- I do actually have a life, as well as several jobs, & I am not glued to my computer all day, plus I probably have other emails waiting for my attention, so don't establish yourself right off the bat as inconsiderate & a pest.

Until there are so many good, experienced, professional disciplinarians around that I have to consider(!!) lowering my standards, I reserve the right to turn away potential clients for rudeness or lack of respect for my time &/or set boundaries.

I expect clients to have read through my website -- or at least the important bits; if you can't be bothered to take the time to read through my rules & conditions, don't expect me to take the time to answer questions I've already answered here.

Ok, now for the actual questions....

"Where are you & do you travel?"

I'm located about 20 minutes north of Charlotte, NC & I do not travel or do outcalls at this time. Clients must be able to come to me. If I ever decide to start travelling, I'll update it here.

What about confidentiality?

I respect my clients' privacy completely, & all communications, pictures you might request I take, & sessions are kept entirely confidential. While I'm obviously very open-minded about alternative forms of therapy, fetishes, etc., I'm a realist & very aware that not everyone shares my views, so I do not reveal clients' names, emails or any other information -- in return for the same courtesy on your end.

I do insist that new clients fill out a health intake form with an emergency contact -- no matter how unlikely, if you had a heart attack or other emergency, I need to have a contact person for you -- & the confidentiality agreement would still apply; I would give a validly mainstream reason for your visit to me.

 

"What kind of implements do you use?"

I use any/all of the following: hand, leather paddles (both small & large), hairbrushes, wooden spoons, belts, straps, canes & wooden paddles. I use my own discretion as to which items to use on each client, depending on their tolerance/fetish/etc. but I won't use anything you aren't ok with. I do not do an entire hour long session of hand spanking, or OTK, only part -- usually at the beginning &/or end.

What I use during each session depends on the client's tolerance & preferences. If you have a real aversion to canes, for instance, & request that I don't use them, or that I do use a particular thing, such as a hairbrush: no problem -- you just need to let me know. However, emails asking me "what would you use on me, how many times, in what positions..." will be considered attempts to gather material for your fantasies, & I'm too busy to waste my time giving out free fantasy material. You can find plenty of chat websites for that.

Same thing goes for "can you describe exactly what will happen in my session?" Simple answer: no. I don't work according to an exact script. If you have a scenario in mind, you can describe it to me & I'll do my best to match your scenario, but beyond that... Look at it this way, if you go to meet a personal trainer at a gym, do you ask him beforehand to describe the next 60 minutes in detail??? I think I included enough in this website to give you an idea of how a session unfolds; more than that & I'm going to assume you're fishing for fantasies.

"Here's my phone #, can you give me a call?"

No. I don't talk on the phone to potential clients after having my time wasted several times by people who were just trying to do an unofficial free phone session. I have a busy schedule & dislike having my time wasted by people who are just looking for explicit spanking descriptions to fuel their fantasies; my time is valuable.  

I appreciate that your desire to talk on the phone might be for perfectly legit reasons, but any questions can usually be answered via email.

That being said, if you are nervous about just showing up for a session without having spoken first, or don't want to arrange an in-person meeting (inconvenient, I understand), I can do a (30 minute maximum) phone consultation for $30 prepaid via PayPal. Please note: this is for consultation & questions about a session only, not a phone domination session; if your questions seem to be fishing for fantasy material or I hear some suspiciously heavy breathing, or I get any impression that this is more than a regular discussion, I will end the call, no refund. 

If you want a phone session, I offer those, but that's different than a pre-session consultation. 

"Can I pay you in cash when we meet instead of pre-paying?"

Nope, sorry. The first time I see someone for a session, pre-payment is the rule. I have too busy a schedule for last minute cancellations or no shows. If you have a valid reason for a last minute cancellation, I will probably partially or fully refund the fee, but that's at my discretion. For same day cancellations, especially if there is absolutely no time for me to fill your appointment space, I will probably have to charge the entire session fee; I always hate having to do that, but this is my profession, not a lunch date.


As for those who say they don't understand how to use PayPal, or don't have a credit card... please. I'm a tech idiot & I can figure out PayPal, so you can also. And no credit card? Right. I understand wanting to protect your identity, but you'll be seeing my real name, too; I respect your privacy & expect the same courtesy, you'll just have to trust that policy as part of the session process.


Once I've seen you a few times, I might decide to relax the prepayment rule, (if you aren't a chronic last minute rescheduler), but for first times, it's non-negotiable. Until recently, I had a PO Box for clients who preferred to pre-pay via money order, but after several envelopes went missing (probably because people ignored instructions & sent cash with no return address), I've discontinued that option.


Payment needs to be put through PayPal no less than 4 days before your session day in order for me to hold your appointment. My PayPal account is under my email address: [email protected].

"I promise I'm trustworthy", "You can believe me", etc.

Usually said regarding pre-payment or wanting me to give you "a quick phone call". Why in the world would you assume I'm going to make an exception just because a perfect stranger assures me he's "different"??? Do you really think I've never heard that before!?? You may indeed be trustworthy -- but why you expect me to take your word for that absolutely mystifies me.

Accept my rules or feel free to go elsewhere.

"Do we meet at all before the session?"

After email consultations (& an above-mentioned phone consultation if necessary), I meet first time clients at a nearby Starbucks or deli where we will talk for 15 -30 minutes before coming back here for the session. This is so that we can meet in public & decide whether the other looks like a serial killer (whatever they look like, exactly), or is having a conversation with invisible people & carrying a hatchet, or simply whether our intuition tells us we're not comfortable with each other. After the first session, once we've gotten to know one another, clients come straight to my house for subsequent sessions.

I can also meet you for just a 1/2 hour in-person consultation, before you decide whether to schedule a session for another day, but understand that I do need to charge a fee for this, generally $50 but I reserve the option of raising the fee for meetings on holidays, weekends, or very inconvenient hours. As with the phone consultations, this is not for doing a verbal session, it is for discussing your questions about a session & easing your fears that I might be crazy or dangerous or a guy or a werewolf or whatever else you might be imagining.

"Is 'stress relief' a euphemism?"

No. Let me rephrase that: no. There are no "happy endings" to my sessions. What you do at home is none of my business, but there is NO sexual activity on my premises, & that includes using your hand on yourself.

"How much notice do you need?"

Except for rare occasions, at least a week or 2. Evening appointments usually need more notice as I only have 2 of those a week at most, so they are in demand & book up quickly.

"What are your appointment hours?"

Until further notice:

Monday 9:30am - 4:00pm*

Tuesday 9:30am - 4:00pm*

Wednesday 9:30am - 11:30am*

Thursday 9:30am - 4:00pm* & 6:00pm - 8:00pm*

Friday 6:30pm - 8:00pm*

* this means the session must end by this time.

I don't do sessions on weekends, sorry.

"What does "discipline" include?"

I can tell you what it doesn't include. I've recently had an ex-client who should know better ask about strap-ons. While some people might consider this to be a form of discipline, from my perspective it's a form of sexual penetration, & since I charge a fee for sessions, that would be prostitution. So, to be perfectly clear: I am a disciplinarian, not a prostitute, & while discipline may or may not have sexual connotations for you, there will be NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY during sessions, either in my presence, or while you are on the premises.